I pulled my truck into the parking lot near the café for some grub. It was a long trip and I needed a good hearty breakfast. I ordered the full breakfast and sat down in a comfortable booth with a newspaper. It was very quiet here. A little too quiet...
I got my breakfast. Eggs, sausages, toast all looked very tasty, but the bacon looked all rubbery and floppy. I sighed. I scratched this café off my list. This was a problem that happened too often. I thought maybe this was the reason why it was so quiet, but I was mistaken...
In the paper there was something about female biker gangs. They were made out to be really dangerous and it sounded like something out of "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!". It showed a picture of their ringleader, a wild haired blonde beauty with fangs and spikes named Bowsette. The paper said to stay away, but I didn't mind the idea of meeting a gal like that.
Just then some motorbikes pulled up outside. They pulled off their helmets and long hair tumbled down. Could it be? The leader pulled off her helmet and shook around her gorgeous wild blonde hair. It was! It was Bowsette's gang!
They came into the café and spotted me, the lone customer. They crowded around my booth and sat next to me. "Hey mister" Bowsette said, helping herself to some of my breakfast. "Mind if we join ya?"
"Not at all" I said, trying to sound cool and calm.
"You're a good guy" she said "Don't believe what the paper says about me. I'm not like that at all."
"Oh no?" I said, looking at her.
"I'm actually much WORSE" she said, baring her teeth, staring hard into my eyes as she ate my breakfast, laughing in my face.
I didn't know what to say.
"Enjoying your breakfast bud?" she said mockingly, still staring at me and eating.
"Y...yeah..." I said sheepishly, trying to keep it together and to keep up the small talk "...though the bacon sucks"
"Oh?" she said and gobbled up a mouthful of bacon before spitting it out. "RAAAAH! You weren't kiddin'! Don't worry dude, I'll sort this out for ya"
She got up and went over to the counter, grabbing the chef by the scruff of the neck. "Where'd ya learn to cook ya bozo? Bacon should be crispy! CRISPY!" she roared and spewed her fire breath at him. She jumped over the counter and came back with a massive plate full of bacon. She stomped back to the table, looking terrifying and ready to spew more fire. I was petrified.
She unleashed her fire breath on the bacon before putting the plate back down. It was full of the crispiest, most delicious bacon I had ever seen.
"Here ya go buddy" she said, "there's a real bacon breakfast for ya! Eat up!". She didn't need to tell me twice! I ate some bacon and it was so delicious I could've died happy right then and there. "Awesome right? Don't forget Bowsette looked out for ya!" she said, putting her arm around me and kissing me on the cheek. "Let's go girls" she said and they all left, blowing me kisses as they drove away on their motorbikes.
The crispy bacon was so good. I was in love.
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