The fat minister of transport made an announcement as he rattled his solid gold jewellery. He said he was cancelling the bus service because of tough times, but everyone knew he was giving himself a raise.
Needless to say, there was a huge protest, but I had other ideas.
I was approaching a town after a long journey on horseback and not a moment too soon. I checked my pouch and I only had a few crispy bacon strips left. I was hoping to replenish, but first I wanted a proper home cooked crispy bacon breakfast. I rode into town and things didn't look too good...
For the crime of disobedience, I was dragged by the authorities into various holding cells before they determined I was to be sent to a correctional facility. When I got there I met some crazy people, but I also met someone I didn't expect... the love of my life.
I visited a seaside town with my family, though I wasn't much for sun, sand and sea. The girl who was assigned to help us with luggage greeted us in a very friendly manner. She took one look at me and said "Is this your son? I... I LOVE him..."
My clothes felt a bit weird when I put them on one morning. When I tried to leave the house, they seized control of my arms and legs and took me back to the bedroom. My girlfriend was still lying on the bed with a remote control. She was wearing nothing but a smile.
My girlfriend was amazing. She was the most beautiful, kind and caring girlfriend I ever had. Little did I know she was about to become even more amazing. She started kissing different parts of my body.
I was eating a big lunch by myself one day when this dude comes out of nowhere, offering me advice with the ladies. I looked at him while continuing to eat and he proceeded to tell me the importance on knowing what to say and it was bad to say nothing and you had to keep talking as much as possible.
There was a period of a few weeks when the government allowed pubs to open but they had to serve food. My girlfriend and I took advantage of the situation and headed to the city for the first time in months.
I was minding my business one day when a girl with very large soft lips appeared in front of me. "I am the Goddess of Kisses!" she declared, "and I have decided that you are suffering from a severe lack of kisses!"
"Yeah yeah... rub it in" I grumbled.
"Don't mind if I do!" she said and lunged for me.
It was love at first sight. This new girl in my class was so beautiful I immediately started having daydreams about her that made my heart sore. The wildest fantasy I had was having a kiss with her on the last day of school.
There was a girl in my class that I liked. She was kind of geeky and it added to her cuteness. I asked her what she was into so I could look it up and maybe have stuff to talk about with her. She said she was into superhero movies. I thought it would be no problem until I looked them up. There were dozens of them...
I didn't have much luck with girls, which made me feel sad and gain weight, but I became friends with two girls who were really pretty, but they were more close friends with me.
"Can we be your girlfriends?" they asked me one day, which really surprised me.
My girlfriend and I looked in shock at the free website we had used for years suddenly asking us for money. It made our head spin. It was the way the world was going now, but we couldn't afford it.
My girlfriend wrote for the community newsletter. Her particular role was to report on the activities on the demanding negligent government and how they affected us.
Sometimes she had to put on a disguise, her favourite of which was as a dog walker.
I was on duty one evening disguised as a mild-mannered dog walker. I didn't meet anyone except for these two girls who were walking their dog. They stared at me for quite a while.
A friend of mine kept telling me there was this girl he knew from far away that really wanted to meet me and do all kinds of dirty stuff to me. I felt good. I felt desirable. I was looking forward to meeting her.
When she finally got a chance to come to town and meet me though, she had serious jet lag.
I once studied the dark arts of feminism because I thought it wold give me the ability to impress a girl. After a long time I finally gained the trust of a group of girls.
I was sitting around the floating apartment one day with my robot girlfriend. We were watching a livestream of an open world video game being played. She was busy disabling the ads but she was also watching it with me. The storyline featured people who lived in a rough city and was full of violence, double crossing and running around doing missions for gangs.
Going back to school while the pandemic was still raging meant we had to wear extra stuff as part of the uniform. Face masks in the school colours of course, but we also had to wear these weird boxes that ensured social distancing.
My girlfriend and I were after an all nighter and we were itchy-eyed and starving. The shops with deli counters were starting to open with breakfast stuff.
The one we went to was pretty bad, but we didn't have the energy to go to another one further away.
