Tuesday, 1 September 2020

794 Cure for a Lousy Breakfast

My girlfriend and I were after an all nighter and we were itchy-eyed and starving. The shops with deli counters were starting to open with breakfast stuff.

The one we went to was pretty bad, but we didn't have the energy to go to another one further away.

"WHATCHA WANT" the fat, rude, bespectacled woman barked at us as we got to the counter. My girlfriend and I were so put off by this that we ordered something without thinking. We were barely able to hold each other up.

On the way to the counter we grabbed some cold refreshing drink. Before we knew it we had paid well over twice the amount it would cost for a full breakfast in a sensible diner. Unfortunately all the sensible diners were in the next town over.

We got home and started eating the food before stopping just as quickly. The bacon I had was hard as a rock and the fat was slimy. My girlfriend spat out the mystery food she took a chance on.

"Chicken!? F"*!ing chicken!?" she screamed, choking as she spat it out and reached for her emergency anti-allergy medicine. She ran out of the room.

I was too tired to follow her. I heard her gargling mouthwash in the bathroom. I spat out the inedible bacon and just started drinking the cold drink. I started feeling much better.

She then said she was gonna make a proper breakfast for me and ran out the door. I drank a bit, then I rested a bit... then sleep caught up with me.

When I woke up I smelled something cooking. I then remembered my girlfriend promising to make a real breakfast. I got up and went to the kitchen. No one there.

Then I looked out the window into the back garden. My girlfriend was roasting a pig on a spit. She had made a bowl of apple sauce which I sampled with delight. She waved at me and I went out to her.

"Oh my gosh you really meant it didn't you!" I said to her when I got out there. "Yup! No one gives me chicken for breakfast and gets away with it." she said as she turned the pig over the hot flames.

I then noticed the pig had a familiar pair of glasses.

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