I was approaching a town after a long journey on horseback and not a moment too soon. I checked my pouch and I only had a few crispy bacon strips left. I was hoping to replenish, but first I wanted a proper home cooked crispy bacon breakfast. I rode into town and things didn't look too good...
I saw a poster advertising bed and breakfast. The bacon in the picture looked raw and floppy. I decided against staying here and thought I'd just stock up on crispy bacon strips and continue on the road until I got to a decent town. I tied my horse and went into the only shop that was there.
I looked around in horror at the shop. They had strips that were pretending to be bacon everywhere, but they were made out of turkey or some weird pea protein. I tipped my hat to the storekeeper politely and moseyed back out.
My horse was gone. I looked over and I saw its head sticking out of a trailer, making a loud racket. The trailer belonged to some butcher who was no doubt gonna turn it into processed meat. It took off before I had a chance to stop it.
"I saw what happened, mister. Let me help you" said a female voice behind me. I turned around and beheld a beautiful, tough looking gal on a fine horse, offering me a hand. "Much obliged" I said, as she pulled me up and we took off after the butcher's trailer.
It was a perilous chase but we caught up to the guy. My lady rider told me to take the reins and she pulled out her guns. I rode up alongside the guy where she had a clear shot of him and she took him out with bullets to the head. The trailer crashed and fell to pieces but my horse came out of it unhurt.
I was really grateful to the beautiful lady for helping me and offered her my remaining bacon strips, which made her smile. She told me I stopped at the wrong town and that where she came from, crispy bacon was a way of life. She invited me to come with her and I agreed wholeheartedly. We rode off into the sunset, dreaming of delicious crispy bacon together.
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