A big lady with big breasts was smashing everything downtown. Nobody knew why she was doing it and nobody could stop her.
Not even the police could stop her. They tried everything but to no avail.
Things were looking bleak.
Then I thought of something. I pushed through the barriers to get to the woman who was still smashing things up. I jumped up on her and grabbed her breasts, fondling them gently. She started giggling and calming down. Soon I had her relaxed and lying down.
I appeared on the news. I was being interviewed while I was fondling her breasts and said with a mouthful of nipple that I was just doing my civic duty. Headlines praised me as a hero.
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