The fat minister of transport made an announcement as he rattled his solid gold jewellery. He said he was cancelling the bus service because of tough times, but everyone knew he was giving himself a raise.
Needless to say, there was a huge protest, but I had other ideas.
I was approaching a town after a long journey on horseback and not a moment too soon. I checked my pouch and I only had a few crispy bacon strips left. I was hoping to replenish, but first I wanted a proper home cooked crispy bacon breakfast. I rode into town and things didn't look too good...
For the crime of disobedience, I was dragged by the authorities into various holding cells before they determined I was to be sent to a correctional facility. When I got there I met some crazy people, but I also met someone I didn't expect... the love of my life.
I visited a seaside town with my family, though I wasn't much for sun, sand and sea. The girl who was assigned to help us with luggage greeted us in a very friendly manner. She took one look at me and said "Is this your son? I... I LOVE him..."
My clothes felt a bit weird when I put them on one morning. When I tried to leave the house, they seized control of my arms and legs and took me back to the bedroom. My girlfriend was still lying on the bed with a remote control. She was wearing nothing but a smile.
My girlfriend was amazing. She was the most beautiful, kind and caring girlfriend I ever had. Little did I know she was about to become even more amazing. She started kissing different parts of my body.
I was eating a big lunch by myself one day when this dude comes out of nowhere, offering me advice with the ladies. I looked at him while continuing to eat and he proceeded to tell me the importance on knowing what to say and it was bad to say nothing and you had to keep talking as much as possible.
