I heard a story about the wind and how if you listened to it carefully it would tell you secrets and tales of times past. I decided to go out and listen to it for myself...
I tried to listen but there was too much noise from traffic and machines, so I had to break away from modern everyday life to see if I could hear it any better.
I listened and waited and listened... and listened... until I heard something! It was... a fart? Then I heard a girl laughing.
I turned around and there was one of my childhood friends with her bare behind shoved up in my face. I got an almighty fright and she got an almighty laugh.
I jumped up but she was too quick. She jumped on top of me and sat on me, continuing to fart and laugh, rubbing her bare bum off of my face. I was indeed hearing sacred secret things and tales of meals past. Loud and clear. I could smell them loud and clear as well.
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