"Adventure! Intrigue! A hot intrepid adventuress!"
My girlfriend stood between me and the TV, dressed up in some crazy getup and said this.
"What are you made up for?" I asked her.
"I'm gonna explore the haunted house and YOU'RE coming with me, sidekick!"
After some gentle coaxing, she got me off the couch and on the road.
The haunted house was at the end of the street. "It's not really haunted" I told her, "it's just been empty since we were kids."
"Silence, sidekick! My ghost-o-meter reading is off the charts! Look!" she said, holding a piece of cardboard in front of me with red squiggly lines drawn on it in crayon. I groaned.
"But.... but it's all grimy and dusty in there" I whinged.
"Now now… no need to hide the fact that you're frightened, sidekick. You just stay close to mama, ok?" she said, putting her arm around me. I smiled sheepishly. Honestly it was kinda nice being out here together like this.
We went inside and the place looked like some kind of time capsule with everything preserved well. We explored and everything seemed ok until we got to the bedroom.
On the bed there was a lump under the blankets. We both looked at each other with unease.
"Sidekick... go investigate..." she said, pushing me forward.
Oh gosh... What did I get myself into? My hands trembled as I pulled up the covers, getting on the large bed as I pushed them up. I revealed the lump to be... a pile of pillows with a silly face drawn on them? And a word balloon spelling out the word "BOO!?"
I turned to my girlfriend, asking her "Did you...?" and I was cut off by her leaping on top of me, wrestling and pinning me to the bed, having her way with me right then and there.
Some time later I was on my back, catching my breath. My girlfriend laid next to me.
"I... I should've known..." I panted.
"Wow..." she replied, "I've never done it in a haunted house before... whew!"
I tossed a pillow at her.
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