Chart music was pretty exciting in the late 90s. We did have terrible music back then but we had tons of awesome music too, and there was always the hope that the good would stomp the bad in the charts.
On the good side were the girlbanders. These ladies sang energetic and romantic songs that gave you hope, when the whole world demonised your sexuality. On the bad side were the slimy opportunistic boyband crooners and the manhating finger wagging groups obsessed with vanity and consumption.
I was a teenager back then and instead of going out at nights during the weekend, I stayed at home and watched the chart show on TV, which strung the music videos of the hits in a countdown. I rooted for my girls to win against the evil crooners and manhaters!
The crooners came on. In the middle of their song, the girlbanders burst onto the set of their videos and sprayed water all over them! I was gobsmacked! The crooners cried and huddled off into a corner. The girlbanders seemed to wink at me and ran for it...
The manhaters came on. The moment the first finger wagging came at me I saw a baseball bat whacking the fingers, breaking not only the false nails, but also the hand. The girlbanders came into view and beat the manhaters into a pulpy mess. Again they seemed to wink at me and ran for it again...
Then their song came on at number 1! They won! Yes! They played the most beautiful energetic song and made me feel really good inside. Then something magical happened. They leaped out of the TV into the chair with me, continuing to sing but especially to me this time! Then they swept me off my feet and together we escaped all this madness!
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